REMEMBERING

I was sitting listening to my favorite celtic CD when I suddenly thought of my Grandpa. He died almost two years ago and I realized that I was missing him. I love this CD but I fell in love with it even more when I was on the phone with him one of the last times and he said, "That's real nice music you have on Norma."

I wonder how many times I have been missing him and not even stopped to realize that was going on.

After spending New Year's Eve and Day in silence I have considered spending one day a week in silence. I think I am going to do that. I hear things in silence that I don't otherwise hear. I also get to be okay with my own company.

I am going to the forest on Sunday - I will do it in silence - I saw, heard, and smelled a tree fall in the forest where I am going three years ago. I wonder what I will see, hear and smell this time..................

New Year's Day 2008

When I found out I had 12 days off at Christmas I thought to myself "What do I want to do and where do I want to go?" Then I remembered that life is all about the experience and asked myself a new question, "What is there left for me to experience in 2007?"

I chose to stay home.

I have learned that I can stay inside for 3 days straight and be content.

I have learned that I can go for 5 days without stepping inside a store, restaurant or spending a dime.

I have learned that I can go for more than 24 hours without speaking to anyone, or seeing anyone, or wishing them Happy New Year.

I have learned that it is okay to turn off my cell phone and return messages the next day.

I have learned that when I do all these things, I have a lot of time left for other things that I said I would do but hadn't.

I now know that I do not have to be caught up in going here and going there, doing this and doing that -- that I can just be..........be silent......be still......be okay with my own company........just be.